Ever want to scream? This isn't the life I built! I look around and realize I hate not being able to get from here to there. Meaning: anywhere there is life. This wasn't it!

I used to say, "I'm investing in grandchildren" when asked why my husband and I had so many kids. Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected this - emptiness, nothingness, silent existence. I began life as an unwanted fetus and I will leave life as an unwanted corpse. But there were events in between, they live now only in my memories.

"Now you're just somebody I used to know"

That's what I shall name my golden years' experience. And with that I will say "Merry Christmas" That's a wrap & another one in the books.  December 2023

Best laid plans: Since I last updated this site I have been under the weather. Truly I have been ill since just before Christmas and I am writing this the day following Valentine's (Feb 15th). During those weeks I learned what is it to become malnourished and all of the strange effects that causes a person. I was unable to eat, all while gaining I nice round distended abdomen - all familiar and reminiscent of my previously grown 11 pound cancer tumor.

1 doctor visit and 2 hospital visits and we've now identified the offender. I have not been able to be on my computer much these days because I am learning first hand what life is like with ulcerative colitis. So now I am actively learning how I will live a life with UC + OC diagnoses. Hum. I still don't know how all that's going to work out. 

What I do know is that access to quality medical care is limited out here in the rural areas I am currently so I have decided to place myself in a different location - one I'm hoping will offer care qualified to handle this complexity. 

So although this is brief be assured that unless I meet our maker and turn into a vapor like energy, I will be back. This is but a pause. I have much more to say and plan on saying a lot of it here. As soon as this move is done I will return. Until then - may you be blessed. - Feb 15th, 2024.